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Welcome to the Reclaimed Recovery Podcast,

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where we are all about helping them

become porn resilient and live porn free.

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You're listening to Episode 12,

which is a part two on the common root

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causes

associated with an unwanted porn habit.

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And today we are covering reasons six

through ten.

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In the last episode,

we covered reasons one through five,

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which included the nature of a porn habit

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and how it relates to the brain

and brain science we covered.

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Number two, curiosity and imagination

and how these innocent things

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that we've had since childhood ended up

getting us into some trouble.

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And they can get us into trouble

from time to time.

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But inherently, these are good things.

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Curiosity and imagination are powerful

tools

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for us to be able to improve ourselves,

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better our lives and our families,

and reach higher potentials.

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Then we talked about how a lack of vision,

motivation

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and purpose was a huge underlying cause

for a lot of guys.

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Feelings of futility.

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And I believe research from Jay Stringer

from Unwanted.

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He's a renowned counselor and author

in this space found in his research out

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researching thousands of guys

that men who felt like they didn't have

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a clear sense of purpose and direction

were like something like seven times

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more likely to engage in pornography

or for their porn habit to escalate.

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And so, man,

that's a really eye opening point.

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And then number four was we talked about

how we live in a hyper sexualized society.

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There is so much pressure from society

to live and act a certain way.

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And society has all these ways

to get this message across to us now.

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Right.

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We spend every day using social media.

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We spend every day using technology

that has the ability

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to send these ads and messages our way.

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Right.

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And if we're not actively reminding

ourselves of what's true,

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if we're not actively working

on our identity,

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over time,

these messages will begin to sink in

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really deep and got a plan themselves

in our hearts like weeds.

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And we're going to have to actively

dig them out.

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If this is an area

we haven't been diligent in

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and the number five

was talking about negative emotions

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and how we just naturally as men

want to avoid them.

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Right. We just want to escape hard

and difficult things.

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We might not think of it like an escape.

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We might just think that, well, it's

not going to do me

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any good to be in touch with my emotions

and think about these things.

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And a lot of times we might think

that the best thing we can do

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is to shut all those things off

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and just try to keep on going on

with normal daily life.

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Well, what we're finding out is that

that's actually not a good strategy.

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As men, we really need to learn

how to be self-aware of what

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we're feeling and our emotions

and learn how to handle them.

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And, you know, that's going

to look a certain way for each guy.

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But the fact of the matter is,

you have to start working on those skills,

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because if there are underlying things

that you're trying to escape

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from, that you keep pushing off.

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Guess what?

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Pornography is going to exploit

those things.

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You're going to turn to pornography

as part of your solution for escaping

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from those things.

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Okay.

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Pornography

is going to become an accomplice

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and it's going to be

your biggest accomplice

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in helping you escape from the things

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you're not wanting to face

in your daily life.

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And so that's a quick recap of what

we talked about in the last episode.

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Now, in this episode, we're going to talk

about five more topics.

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And so number six is going to be

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loneliness and isolation,

and number seven is going to be shame.

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Talking about how shame plays into this

struggle, number eight is going to be

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trauma and abuse and how that often leaves

an imprint on men that keeps them

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stuck and makes it difficult to pull away

from pornography in their life.

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Now, number nine is going to be

a little bit different.

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It's going to be a misdirected devotion

or a lack of worship.

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And I'll explain more about what

I mean by that when we get there.

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And then number ten is going to be desire.

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Okay.

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And so a couple of these ideas

might be different for you.

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You may not have heard them before.

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They might be a little bit

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more outside the box or a different way

of thinking about the problem.

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So I'm going to ask

you guys to be open minded,

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but without further ado,

we're going to jump into it.

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We're going to start with number six,

which is loneliness and isolation,

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and it's closely

related to negative emotions.

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But loneliness and isolation is a feeling,

but it's also a state

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that we're in when we simply aren't

having close, intimate interaction

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with many other people on a weekly,

let alone daily basis.

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I think I may have mentioned this

on a previous episode, but

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there was a Harvard study done

that’s super, super interesting,

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tracked the lives of men

throughout decades.

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It's one of the longest

studies of its kind ever done.

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It actually might be the longest

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for men following them

through their entire lifetime.

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And I think it's actually being carried

on through generations,

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like through their children,

which is pretty cool, but it's studied

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various factors of their lives

and what contributed to their overall

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health and wellness and happiness

as they grew older.

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Okay.

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And I mean, this study was done in extreme

depth, like scientists

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would go into their homes

on a regular basis

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and they would run all kinds of tests,

like on the brain

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blood tests, do in-depth interviews

and surveys of these guys.

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It was highly, highly detailed.

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And of course, shouldn't be a huge

surprise to us, but one of the significant

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findings was that the thing

that made the difference for the men

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who were healthiest and happiest

and kind of thriving and kind of living

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successfully in terms of

like what their goals were

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and feeling like they were realizing

their talents and their potential.

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All of that

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all hinged on

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whether they felt like they were

connected, whether they had community,

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whether they had healthy relationships

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with their family

and with several close friends.

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And they were doing life

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with people like that,

and they were having opportunities

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to enjoy all the blessings that come

with healthy relationships as well.

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So connectivity was the key to that study.

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And so of course the opposite of that.

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If we're moving in the opposite direction

from connectivity in healthy

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relationships,

it's loneliness and isolation.

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Okay?

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And there are all kinds of reasons

why we can find ourselves

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in loneliness and isolation.

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Sometimes we are in a lonely spot.

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We don't have many close friends

and relationships around us.

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And that can lead us

to pornography, right?

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Because the loneliness and isolation

is going to create some really negative

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feelings and emotions.

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We want to avoid them.

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We're looking for something

to kind of Band-Aid them.

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Symptom relief.

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So we turn to porn, right?

That can make sense.

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A lot of guys may start looking at porn

maybe because of the addictive nature

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of it, what it's doing to the brain,

the curiosity.

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They may not be as lonely when they start,

but the longer that they continue

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to use porn, the lonelier that they feel,

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the more the isolation comes in.

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And there's several things

that contribute to that, right?

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A big one is shame,

which is actually our next root cause.

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And all of these are related,

keep in mind.

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But shame is often something

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that's going hand in hand

with loneliness and isolation.

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And it's this repetitive cycle, right,

where the more lonely that we feel,

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the more ashamed we feel in general,

but also when we watch pornography, right?

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And so we start spending all of this time

alone inside of our heads.

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We've tried using willpower,

we've tried using this positive

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self-talk, but now we're disgusted

with ourselves because we've failed.

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We don't feel like

we're disciplined enough and we don't have

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anyone around us to tell us

and remind us of who we are

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and to encourage us and tell us that, yes,

you can do this.

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That drives us more into isolation

and loneliness, right?

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That shame.

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And then when we feel more lonely,

we want to look at porn.

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And then that brings about the next time

we look at it worse feelings of shame.

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And for a lot of guys,

this is like a snowball effect.

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Like it goes on for a really long time

and the longer it goes on, the harder

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it becomes to bear.

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And that's when we get guys who are just

so desperate to get out of it.

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They're willing to spend, you know, three

or four years of intensive work,

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tens of thousands of dollars.

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And, man, it's really tough.

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My heart really goes out to you

if you're in this situation right now.

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But it's important to understand

that you don't have to wait till things

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get this bad to decide

to start working on this.

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Okay.

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And if it has gotten this bad,

there are resources for you.

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But look, reclaimed is here.

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And we have a ten-week program

that's here for men who are feeling

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like it's not a habit

they can control very well.

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And they don't want to get to that point

where now they have to spend thousands

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and thousands of dollars

and they're spent all this time

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like put their life on pause

in order to address this.

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Reclaimed is a program for men

who are struggling with this habit, but

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who need to work on it in conjunction

with other things going on in their lives.

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Okay.

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And it gives men an opportunity

to work and confidentiality and privacy

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and then in a matter of weeks or months,

be able to begin the process

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of moving on from it and just enjoying

other things in life, putting their focus

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and attention back to other things in life

and leading in other areas of their life

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rather than constantly being consumed

by this issue.

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And so if you've been listening

to our podcast and you've been researching

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some things about reclaimed, listen,

this program is for you.

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If you're stuck

feeling lonely and isolated,

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but you're ready to do something

about this before it gets worse,

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you're ready to reverse the direction

that this is going in your life,

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and you want to come out

from the other side of the struggle

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as a better man

with an improved vision of their life

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and improved understanding of purpose

and the things you stand

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for, the values that you stand for.

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That's what your claim is here to do.

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Okay, but look,

there are a lot of lonely man

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in our society today, and porn

is thriving off of this loneliness.

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It's just the truth.

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A lot of it is the cycle of loneliness,

isolation and shame.

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And pornography gets put in the mix

and it just amplifies it, you know?

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So, man,

the thing that is really going to fight

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shame is obviously healthy community

in relationships.

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Those around us people

we love can really help us fight shame.

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But really what it comes down to

as well as identity.

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If we don't choose our identity,

if we don't actively participate

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in affirming our identity,

then life will choose it

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for us, other people, other

things are going to tell us who we are.

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It's as simple as that.

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You're either proactively taking part

in affirming your identity on a day to day

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basis or you're not,

and you are kind of lost in your identity.

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And when that happens,

it gives all the more power to shame.

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And so shame deepening the wounds of

loneliness, isolation, negative emotions.

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That is number seven for us, which brings

us to number eight, trauma and abuse.

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All right.

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So this one is for men

and women who suffered abuse.

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The most obvious form that relates to

this is sexual abuse, which there's

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a surprising, surprising amount of people

who have suffered sexual abuse.

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It's just not something

that we talk about.

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But I can tell you,

as an aspiring counselor and

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as someone who's worked with a lot of men

who've struggled with porn,

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it is a lot more common than you would

think, not just among women.

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I think there's a lot of statistics

about women, young women

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being abused, but even among men.

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And so if that's you and you're out there,

I can tell you

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you're definitely not alone.

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However, I didn't suffer

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any type of sexual abuse

that I can remember that I'm aware of.

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And so I don't fully know

what it feels like

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to have gone through something like that,

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but my heart really goes out to you,

if that's you.

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Because we know from science and research

and the experience of so many

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that have gone through that,

that it can take many, many years

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or indeed a lifetime to overcome

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the effects of such an abuse or trauma.

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And so one thing about trauma and abuse

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is that it has this ability to imprint

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on a young mind.

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Our brains are actually designed through

the hippocampus to store certain memories,

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and we create from a young age

what's called an arousal template.

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And we'll talk more about that

some time, too.

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But arousal template, the most basic way

I can explain it is that something happens

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to us, a sexual act happens to us,

and we feel arousal towards it,

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and that imprints in our brains

and it often carries with us

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for years and years and again,

sometimes for a lifetime.

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And, you know,

a lot of people get confused

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as they grow and mature

because they find themselves

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with sexual feelings and attractions

that they don't want,

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and they're confused about

why they have them.

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And a lot of times

it points back to an experience

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with sexual abuse or some kind of trauma

when they were younger.

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And that is something

that I really believe

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in counseling for counselors

who are specifically trained

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to work with people to process

through those kinds of experiences.

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But it is also a major contributor

to why so many people

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are getting stuck in pornography habits

and aren't able to get out.

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Okay, now let's move on to number nine.

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Number nine is going to be misdirected

devotion or lack of worship.

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It's going to be closely

tied to number ten.

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But I'm going to make a distinction.

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So number nine, misdirected devotion.

00;14;03;09 - 00;14;05;03

What do I mean by that?

00;14;05;03 - 00;14;07;20

So part of this comes down

to my worldview, my faith.

00;14;07;20 - 00;14;12;09

As a Christian, I believe that God

has placed eternity in the heart

00;14;12;09 - 00;14;17;20

of every man and that all of us

seek to worship and idolize something.

00;14;17;20 - 00;14;18;06

Okay.

00;14;18;06 - 00;14;21;07

And even if you're not a Christian,

I think a really strong case could be made

00;14;21;07 - 00;14;23;12

for this

to where you could at least see my point

00;14;23;15 - 00;14;25;05

in our culture,

when you think about things

00;14;25;05 - 00;14;29;13

like when you think of everything

from things like sports and celebrities

00;14;29;13 - 00;14;34;02

and icons right down to our pets

that we want to show devotion to.

00;14;34;02 - 00;14;34;22

Okay.

00;14;34;22 - 00;14;38;24

So we're wired to give our attention

and to pay attention to something

00;14;38;24 - 00;14;42;26

or someone

and to be constantly looking for a strong

00;14;42;27 - 00;14;46;10

leader

and a purpose and a cause in our lives.

00;14;46;10 - 00;14;48;08

And so we tend to be scanning

00;14;48;08 - 00;14;51;28

for things that can fill this purpose

of worship and devotion.

00;14;52;05 - 00;14;56;02

And we tend to grab on to the things

that are the loudest.

00;14;56;02 - 00;14;57;13

We tend to grab on to the things

00;14;57;13 - 00;15;00;11

that might seem to benefit the most

and be the most practical.

00;15;00;21 - 00;15;04;07

And unfortunately, a lot of times

those things aren't actually

00;15;04;07 - 00;15;06;09

very good for us, they're harmful to us.

00;15;06;09 - 00;15;10;29

And so what we end up doing is we end up

idolizing the wrong things in our life.

00;15;10;29 - 00;15;14;13

And of course, this is so closely

connected to like when we talked about

00;15;14;13 - 00;15;18;13

being in a hypersexualized society

in our last episode, society

00;15;18;13 - 00;15;22;10

is trying to tell us what to worship

and what to give devotion to.

00;15;22;10 - 00;15;27;25

And so if we're experiencing

a lack of true and positive devotion

00;15;27;25 - 00;15;28;08

and worship

00;15;28;08 - 00;15;31;21

in our lives towards, you know,

I believe that that should be towards God

00;15;32;02 - 00;15;34;16

if we're lacking that in our lives, well,

guess what?

00;15;34;16 - 00;15;37;23

It's going to start

latching on to other things.

00;15;37;23 - 00;15;38;15

And guess what?

00;15;38;15 - 00;15;41;21

One of the most common, accessible

and powerful things

00;15;41;21 - 00;15;45;09

that wants to make itself

available to us is pornography.

00;15;45;09 - 00;15;47;09

And in the context

of what we're talking about

00;15;47;09 - 00;15;50;26

right now, the reason

why we want to latch onto pornography

00;15;51;03 - 00;15;55;20

is because in a strange way,

it offers us hope that we can feel better

00;15;55;20 - 00;16;00;21

and be better and become something because

of the beliefs that we have about sex.

00;16;00;21 - 00;16;04;16

And so we start to look for our hope

and our affirmation

00;16;04;23 - 00;16;09;27

in sex and our identities

and our confidence in ourselves, in sex,

00;16;09;27 - 00;16;11;22

and whether we're getting sex or not

00;16;11;22 - 00;16;15;27

and whether we're getting the attention

that we want from women or not.

00;16;15;27 - 00;16;19;17

And so because of this, pornography

becomes very alluring.

00;16;19;17 - 00;16;24;06

And unless we turn our worship

and devotion back to God, back to Jesus

00;16;24;06 - 00;16;28;08

to point us in the direction

that we need to go to that true north,

00;16;28;08 - 00;16;31;10

then our devotion will

continue to be misdirected.

00;16;32;11 - 00;16;34;13

Okay, so hope you're hanging with me.

00;16;34;13 - 00;16;36;18

Still, we've got one more.

00;16;36;19 - 00;16;38;20

This is Root Cause number ten.

00;16;38;21 - 00;16;38;28

All right?

00;16;38;28 - 00;16;42;07

And I've got one here

that I think is often not talked about.

00;16;42;19 - 00;16;44;12

And I think may be

00;16;44;12 - 00;16;47;26

the most important of all, especially

if it's something you haven't looked into.

00;16;48;17 - 00;16;52;06

Now, I want to remind you that out

of all the things we've covered

00;16;52;06 - 00;16;55;16

so far, you may have a combination

of all of these.

00;16;55;24 - 00;16;58;28

It's likely

that you're struggling with porn because

00;16;59;07 - 00;17;03;11

like most of these, a majority of these

are all working together.

00;17;03;22 - 00;17;07;11

And each of these things

can be spoken to separately

00;17;07;11 - 00;17;11;10

and there can be healing that can happen

with each one of these causes.

00;17;11;10 - 00;17;15;20

But you're also probably likely

to gravitate more towards one

00;17;15;20 - 00;17;19;16

or two of these reasons for why

you're stuck in porn and to the point

00;17;19;16 - 00;17;21;16

where you felt like you were addicted

or couldn't get out.

00;17;21;16 - 00;17;24;09

So it's important to again.

00;17;24;20 - 00;17;28;13

Yeah, I challenge you to think

in terms of self-awareness.

00;17;28;20 - 00;17;33;26

Think about these

and think about what could be at the heart

00;17;33;26 - 00;17;38;12

and the root cause for you in your story

when it comes to struggling with porn.

00;17;38;21 - 00;17;40;07

That's my challenge for you.

00;17;40;07 - 00;17;42;07

All right.

Now let's move on to the last one.

00;17;42;07 - 00;17;45;07

The last one is actually desire.

00;17;45;26 - 00;17;47;04

It's desire.

00;17;47;04 - 00;17;50;18

And it may not be the kind of desire

that you think

00;17;50;21 - 00;17;52;16

right off the bat when I say that.

00;17;52;16 - 00;17;57;07

So I'm not talking about the sort

of like craving, desire

00;17;57;19 - 00;17;59;00

that our brains have

00;17;59;00 - 00;18;02;13

when we think about it

in terms of like dopamine and the science

00;18;02;13 - 00;18;05;06

and our brains just kind of craving

and anticipating more.

00;18;05;14 - 00;18;07;05

I'm actually not talking about that.

00;18;07;05 - 00;18;10;00

What I'm talking about is more abstract

00;18;10;00 - 00;18;13;19

and it has more to do with the spirit

and the heart.

00;18;14;02 - 00;18;18;13

The thing is, we all have good desires

and what I like to do,

00;18;18;13 - 00;18;21;25

and I'm not the only one who does, is

you hear other people talk about this too.

00;18;21;25 - 00;18;26;07

But I like to have people think back to

when they were a boy or a little girl

00;18;27;02 - 00;18;32;01

and think about a time when you really had

just innocent, good desires,

00;18;32;19 - 00;18;36;02

so many things that you wanted, that

you dreamed of,

00;18;36;02 - 00;18;40;06

that you imagined

just for the sake of of goodness.

00;18;40;06 - 00;18;44;07

I think a lot of us can look back

and remember, at least somewhat,

00;18;44;21 - 00;18;47;13

parts of our childhood where it feels like

00;18;47;13 - 00;18;51;09

we hadn't been corrupted,

we hadn't become cynical.

00;18;51;17 - 00;18;54;19

We loved just for the sake of loving.

00;18;54;27 - 00;19;00;08

And we had these desires

that seemed so pure and so good.

00;19;00;08 - 00;19;02;04

I believe that we still have those in us.

00;19;02;04 - 00;19;05;07

They just become harder to see

and they become muddied.

00;19;05;08 - 00;19;06;14

Things become really muddy.

00;19;06;14 - 00;19;10;22

It's like, is our good God given desires?

00;19;10;22 - 00;19;13;15

We're like a room in our hearts.

00;19;13;21 - 00;19;17;26

So much junk just gets thrown in there

and we kind of forget what

00;19;17;26 - 00;19;20;07

those good desires are.

We lose touch with them.

00;19;20;07 - 00;19;24;01

And I think it's so important

for men or women who are struggling

00;19;24;01 - 00;19;28;11

with pornography to get back in touch

with those good desires.

00;19;28;11 - 00;19;31;02

College how we talked about curiosity

and imagination.

00;19;31;02 - 00;19;32;04

Those are good things.

00;19;32;04 - 00;19;34;12

But they get twisted, they get robbed.

00;19;34;18 - 00;19;37;05

The enemy seeks to steal or kill, destroy.

00;19;37;17 - 00;19;41;01

And so we have to reconnect ourselves

00;19;41;01 - 00;19;43;21

with that good desire

that still dwells in our hearts.

00;19;43;21 - 00;19;47;01

And so how can we get more specific

about those desires?

00;19;47;03 - 00;19;49;06

We can put them

into some different categories.

00;19;49;06 - 00;19;53;16

For example, pretty much

every human has a desire for certainty,

00;19;54;06 - 00;19;56;22

the assurance that we can avoid pain

00;19;56;29 - 00;20;00;00

and that we can gain pleasure

and that we can be safe.

00;20;00;01 - 00;20;04;22

Safety right, too, would be uncertainty

or variety.

00;20;04;22 - 00;20;07;16

The need for the unknown change.

00;20;07;24 - 00;20;10;22

New stimuli, adventure. Right.

00;20;10;22 - 00;20;12;00

That's a word that something.

00;20;12;00 - 00;20;15;00

And we love to think about our lives

like an adventure we're in

00;20;15;01 - 00;20;17;28

that what that is, is

variety and uncertainty.

00;20;18;14 - 00;20;21;20

Then another basic human need

is significance.

00;20;21;29 - 00;20;26;03

Feeling unique, important, special needed

feeling heard, feeling seen.

00;20;26;14 - 00;20;27;22

That's a good desire.

00;20;27;22 - 00;20;29;22

Fourth is connection and love.

00;20;29;22 - 00;20;34;01

Strong feeling of closeness or union

with someone, intimacy

00;20;34;01 - 00;20;37;12

being desired, being pursued so,

so important.

00;20;37;13 - 00;20;38;07

We talked about

00;20;38;07 - 00;20;42;00

how much that fights isolation,

how much that contributes to identity.

00;20;42;04 - 00;20;45;21

A fifth good desire would be for growth,

an expansion

00;20;45;21 - 00;20;50;11

of our skills, talents, capacity,

capability, and understanding,

00;20;50;23 - 00;20;54;29

reaching higher for our potential

and growing and self-awareness.

00;20;55;10 - 00;20;57;27

Another good desire would be contribution.

00;20;57;27 - 00;21;02;00

Everyone wants to have a sense of service

and focus on helping and giving

00;21;02;06 - 00;21;03;12

to support others.

00;21;04;16 - 00;21;06;02

One more that I would

00;21;06;02 - 00;21;10;17

put in here for anyone that is faith

based is worship.

00;21;10;17 - 00;21;11;28

Worship is a desire.

00;21;11;28 - 00;21;14;11

And that's why

this root cause links to the last one

00;21;14;11 - 00;21;18;07

we talked about number nine

and I believe we all have this

00;21;18;07 - 00;21;22;23

compass is an internal compass

that is going to guide us towards

00;21;23;03 - 00;21;25;29

not just something greater than ourselves,

00;21;25;29 - 00;21;28;21

but some one greater than ourselves.

00;21;28;29 - 00;21;30;26

And for me, I believe that that's God.

00;21;30;26 - 00;21;34;03

And so I believe that worship is a pure

00;21;34;08 - 00;21;37;27

desire and a natural desire

that we're all born with guys.

00;21;37;28 - 00;21;42;18

All of these things,

all of these desires we lose touch with

00;21;42;18 - 00;21;45;15

and we trade them in, we doll them,

00;21;45;28 - 00;21;49;07

we allow them to be corrupted or twisted.

00;21;49;18 - 00;21;52;23

We start to think that

all of our intentions are bad.

00;21;53;03 - 00;21;58;01

Maybe our desires aren't good,

but I would make the strong argument

00;21;58;14 - 00;22;02;22

that when we go to look at pornography,

when we're driven to porn,

00;22;03;13 - 00;22;07;23

we are trying to meet a good desire,

or we are trying to meet

00;22;07;23 - 00;22;12;28

what is essentially underneath

it all, a God given desire

00;22;12;28 - 00;22;17;01

that we were created

with, that we are supposed to pursue,

00;22;17;12 - 00;22;21;17

that God wants us to pursue,

but we're trading it in.

00;22;21;22 - 00;22;26;10

We're allowing our desires to be dulled

down into things like pornography

00;22;26;27 - 00;22;31;10

that bring about momentary pleasure

but lack human dignity.

00;22;31;10 - 00;22;34;21

And until we can learn to pursue our God

00;22;34;21 - 00;22;39;08

given desires in ways and healthy ways

that God intended, until we can learn

00;22;39;08 - 00;22;45;10

to take our feelings of sexual attraction

and energy, and we can connect

00;22;45;10 - 00;22;50;11

in those moments to our God given desire

and channel those things in healthy ways.

00;22;50;25 - 00;22;54;12

We're going to continue

to struggle with porn.

00;22;55;03 - 00;22;59;01

And so this is another thing that's so,

so important in our ten week program

00;22;59;01 - 00;23;00;15

and in our community.

00;23;00;15 - 00;23;03;16

We encourage guys to think

00;23;03;16 - 00;23;07;14

about what these desires are

and then to go for them.

00;23;07;14 - 00;23;10;28

And everyone is like cheering you on

because this is like,

00;23;11;08 - 00;23;13;20

man, this desire that you have.

00;23;13;29 - 00;23;16;17

We all know

that there is something in store for you

00;23;16;17 - 00;23;21;14

that is so much greater than a life

sentence of viewing pornography.

00;23;21;14 - 00;23;22;06

Right.

00;23;22;06 - 00;23;25;05

We believe that deep down

when we see that happen, because it does

00;23;25;05 - 00;23;28;03

happen and guys can get to a point

where they're doubting that boom

00;23;28;03 - 00;23;32;10

when they start to get it and believe

that again, man, that is exciting.

00;23;32;10 - 00;23;34;26

Encouraging one another.

00;23;34;26 - 00;23;37;25

Encouraging other men to connect

00;23;38;00 - 00;23;40;25

with those good desires,

those noble desires,

00;23;41;02 - 00;23;45;10

and then to start to live them out

and reach out for them in healthy ways.

00;23;45;10 - 00;23;47;22

Man, that changes someone's life.

00;23;47;22 - 00;23;51;07

That's what we're all here for and that's

what the reclaimed community is about.

00;23;51;21 - 00;23;55;26

And so if you're listening to this,

I hope that we can encourage

00;23;55;26 - 00;23;57;21

you towards your God given desires.

00;23;57;21 - 00;23;59;02

Think about that.

00;23;59;02 - 00;24;01;01

What are some desires that you have?

00;24;01;01 - 00;24;06;10

Why are they going unmet and

how is pornography trying to meet them?

00;24;06;10 - 00;24;07;00

Right.

00;24;07;00 - 00;24;09;23

That's why we've said this before

and others have said

00;24;09;23 - 00;24;13;18

this is that pornography is not a problem.

00;24;13;18 - 00;24;15;18

That's not the only way to think about it.

00;24;15;18 - 00;24;17;08

Pornography is a solution

00;24;17;08 - 00;24;20;22

and it's trying to take the place

of your God given desires.

00;24;20;22 - 00;24;22;15

And so write some things down.

00;24;22;15 - 00;24;26;10

Write down

what some of your biggest God given

00;24;26;15 - 00;24;30;04

desires are right now

that you're not getting in your life

00;24;30;13 - 00;24;35;05

and write down

how you can pursue those in healthy ways.

00;24;35;05 - 00;24;39;21

Okay, so if your desires for acceptance,

adventure,

00;24;40;01 - 00;24;44;26

affirmation, authenticity,

if you want to be heard,

00;24;44;26 - 00;24;49;02

if you need to be known,

if you're longing to be seen or pursued,

00;24;50;05 - 00;24;53;08

if you

need belonging, if you need community, or

00;24;53;08 - 00;24;57;19

if you need contribution more contribution

in your life, more giving to others.

00;24;58;01 - 00;24;59;25

Perhaps you're looking for growth.

00;24;59;25 - 00;25;02;27

Perhaps

you're looking for love and intimacy.

00;25;02;27 - 00;25;05;24

Or maybe you just need rest, right?

00;25;05;25 - 00;25;10;29

There are so many and I could go on,

but there are so many desires that we have

00;25;11;11 - 00;25;13;13

that we let go under the radar

00;25;13;13 - 00;25;17;02

because again,

things like pornography have clouded them.

00;25;17;09 - 00;25;18;27

They've dulled them out.

00;25;18;27 - 00;25;21;07

We've got to stop ourselves,

00;25;21;19 - 00;25;25;12

think about this

and then go on relentless pursuit

00;25;25;16 - 00;25;29;05

of a greater, better

life, grounded in our God given desires.

00;25;29;05 - 00;25;31;13

So we're going to stop here.

00;25;31;13 - 00;25;33;21

Thank you for sticking with me

in this episode

00;25;33;21 - 00;25;36;18

and covering all these different root

causes.

00;25;36;24 - 00;25;39;27

Again, in the coming

episodes, we're going to dove more deeply

00;25;40;08 - 00;25;43;26

into several of these,

and so I'm excited for it.

00;25;44;02 - 00;25;45;22

I hope you'll stick with us.

00;25;45;22 - 00;25;46;16

And really quick,

00;25;46;16 - 00;25;51;09

I want to give a personal thank you

to many of you who have began to support

00;25;51;09 - 00;25;55;14

the work and support the podcast

and to support other content

00;25;55;14 - 00;25;58;11

that we are releasing and planning

to release in the near future.

00;25;58;17 - 00;26;01;15

Man, you guys are making

all the difference

00;26;01;15 - 00;26;05;15

and it is so encouraging to be receiving

some of that.

00;26;05;23 - 00;26;11;12

It's a way that you guys are empowering me

to pursue God given talents and desires

00;26;11;12 - 00;26;15;15

and to make a difference in this area

and pornography and is prevalence.

00;26;15;15 - 00;26;19;17

And with so many men trapped in it,

just being able to reach out and get the

00;26;19;17 - 00;26;24;02

message out and work with more men

and so men, I can't say thank you enough.

00;26;24;02 - 00;26;28;09

So anyways, we will see you guys

in another episode very soon.

00;26;28;21 - 00;26;34;08

And until then, thank you for listening

to the Reclaimed Recovery Podcast.

00;26;34;08 - 00;26;38;03

Guys, if you have benefited at all

from these last ten episodes,

00;26;38;03 - 00;26;39;20

then I have a huge ask for you.

00;26;39;20 - 00;26;43;20

If you would consider

supporting the podcast by donating to it.

00;26;43;25 - 00;26;45;17

We now have a PayPal page

00;26;45;17 - 00;26;49;21

set up and the link to that is in the show

notes, in the podcast description.

00;26;49;21 - 00;26;52;27

Or you can go to podcast

reclaimed recovery icon,

00;26;52;27 - 00;26;55;29

that's podcast

dot reclaimed recovery dot com.

00;26;56;02 - 00;26;59;01

And in the very upper right hand corner,

you'll see a little symbol

00;26;59;05 - 00;27;00;17

that has a heart shape on it.

00;27;00;17 - 00;27;03;26

You can click that and that will also

take you to our donation page.

00;27;03;26 - 00;27;05;26

And now the reason why I'm asking for

this is because

00;27;05;26 - 00;27;08;24

I want to put a tremendous amount of work

into making each episode

00;27;09;00 - 00;27;13;13

as quality as possible and zero cost

and available to everyone who needs it.

00;27;13;13 - 00;27;14;19

And so if you want to help me

00;27;14;19 - 00;27;17;11

do that, please

consider giving five, ten, $20 a month

00;27;17;14 - 00;27;18;26

or even just one or $2 a month.

00;27;18;26 - 00;27;19;23

You can click other

00;27;19;23 - 00;27;22;07

and give less than that,

but anything you give is going to help me

00;27;22;07 - 00;27;26;22

be consistent in accomplishing this vision

and the goals we have for the podcast.

00;27;26;22 - 00;27;29;26

And so I want to say thank you so much

for considering thank you so much

00;27;29;26 - 00;27;32;03

for all the support you've shown so far.

00;27;32;03 - 00;27;34;02

And I can't wait to continue on with you

00;27;34;02 - 00;27;38;07

in this journey of overcoming pornography

together one day at a time.

00;27;38;16 - 00;27;41;14

Thanks,

and we'll see you in the next episode.